4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
do nipples grow back?
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