Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
