there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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