Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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