I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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