What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
