i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
