you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
