You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
