He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
