Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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