i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
