Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
