yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
