im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
