every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
