Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
