i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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