its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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