Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
