We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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