They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
