six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
