She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
