anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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