I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
