Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
