I'm gonna have a badass scar
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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