I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
They took my balls.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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