So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
