i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
