My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
