How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
