My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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