you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
