just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
