Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
In America we eat man semen.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
COCAINE IS GR8
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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