And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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