Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
