Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
