I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
