I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
