I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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