I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
