So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
