Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Duck Duck Cougar?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
