he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
