All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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