she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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