Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
being pregnant is like rehab
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The Olympian is in my bed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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