So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
